an organized mess

Life certainly has a way of sneaking in surprises for you.

It's been 6 months since I last update this blog. It's been about 6 minutes since I finally remembered the password. So lets rewind back to 6 months ago....

I had just met Gabi, and thought I was falling in love. I clearly wasn't. I was introduced to her through the thick haze of Jager and some cheap fog machine being used on stage at the Tainted Love concert in MB. The drink I had right before I puked really helped calm the nerves down a bit.. it's a shame the memory of that evening begins just moments before I puked.

Two months later, I still couldn't allow myself to be vunerable because she was too much the type-A personality that I wasn't willing to allow anyone control over my actions and emotions. I just didn't want to open up to her. Bye Gabi.

The midst of August I discovered this thing on the internet called YouTube. It was a magical moment.. like being encased in a Disneyland snowglobe.. then being shook violently until all the snow swirls around so fast that it creates a void in the time-space continuum and sucks in every ounce of life. Most "normal" people don't face this struggle of addiction to the point of black holiness.. but it consumed my life. I had discovered the world of video blogging, or vlogs.

About 2 days into my new addiction, I had realized a much easier way to project my thoughts without being slowed down by 0.5mm lead stick running short in my pencil or 25wpm blowing up my keyboard. I had found a way to record thoughts without doing anything but staring blankly into a camera lens.

I began my vblogging. Two days later, I broke my arm. 2 hours after that, I popped my barbiturate cherry.

I was deflated.

I had stopped working out, and practically stopped eating because I was always hopped up on some kinda pain med. I lost 16 lbs in muscle in 5 weeks, and gained about 3 lbs in water weight since I couldn't keep water from flowing into my cast.

Then I got real loopy. The last 2 weeks I had my cast, I started getting signatures. The initial thought was to obtain 100 signatures and be done with it. I got a little ambitious. I shot for 1000 signatures.

And after asking over 1000 people in clubs, coffee shops, on the bus, at the bar, underneath bathroom stalls, at work, ect.. I eventually made my way closer and closer. I ended up falling short because I ran out of room. I managed to get 710 I think....

That friggin cast consumed 4 months out of my life... asking people to open doors for me, open my child proof water bottles, scratch my nuts right in the sweaty patch next to the....

The cast came off, and it was easily one of the best early Christmas present that I could ask for. of course, this was long after I had worn out my "will you sign my cast" pick up line.

Once school was back in session, everyone stopped going out. I hit a depression period because all my wing(wo)men were occupied with other things.. like books, or tax returns, or boyfriend's penises.

yes.. I was depressed. over nothing.

I focused primarily on the fine art of slacking off in class while acing the quizzes and tests and found a lot of satisfaction in that.. but unfortunately for me.. it was very short lived.

I attended a friend's wedding... actually I'm friends with both the bride and groom.. my friends' wedding and had the honor of playing a crucial role in the wedding... groomsman. It was the first time I had been part of the wedding party, so naturally, I was stoked.. and even more so because it was someone close to me.

In fact, I still remember the day when we all went out to dinner.. and told me the news that they were together. It didn't surprise me. They're one of the few couples that DO make sense together. So when I got to witness them getting married to one another, the room got a a little bit misty.

Jeff's sister is hot, btw. I had a lot of fun at the wedding and kinda wish we got to do it again because it all flew by so quickly. Well anyway, the video that I shot at that wedding was probably the first that I had shot in a while. Up until this point, I struggled to come up with ideas for a concept. I didn't want to take the same idea other people had taken of doing a daily blog.. nor did I wanna show off any of my talentless acts of desperation, so I simply made a wedding video.

Then it was turkey day. Then Christmas. Then New Years. My past few holiday season haven't fluctuated much on the exciting scale. I did however get to spend my Christmas week with Leiland. Now THAT was fun. This kid has grown up so much that it tripped me out how involved in our conversations he would get. It didn't matter what you were talking about, he was listening. And he was responding. And he was questioning. Everything. After two weeks of father-son bliss, it made me realize that I don't want to be away from my son anymore. I miss him. a LOT.

New Years brought with it a refreshing sense of accomplishment with it. It's now 2010. My last year as a twenty something year old. and without noticing, the fire has been lit once again. I thought up an idea to send a birthday present to a certain someone, in order to make up for a promise that I had broken due to family scheduling conflicts... like a brother who just got married wanted to spend time with his sister and brother.

I decided I wanted to make another video, this time, it's geared specifically for someone. Once the idea was pitched, it sold. And once the idea sold, the fuckin roof caught on fire.

and a week later, 26 pages, 4 screenplays, 2 rough edits and 1 broken video camera later... I've come up with the perfect idea for a boring romantic comedy screenplay!

well, really? I don't have shit. I have a producer who knows nothing about the biz. I have a cameraman who's halfway across the world, I have a story that only makes sense because I was able to remember the Friends episode that it mirrors, and I have a cast line that won't work together because they know nothing about the screenplay yet. yes, its all coming together!

3 weeks til my final edit deadline. I know, I'm fucked.