vaccine

first off, I gotta give it up to all those counselors out there.  All the shrinks and therapists.. whether it be for marriage and counseling, rehab, mental health, substance abuse.. vocational, educational, whoever you are... BIG UPS!

I can't do what you do.  No matter how hard I try.

the last couple of months have been tiresome.  its not the 80 hour work weeks.  its not the twice a day gym workout.  its not the excessive binge drinking.  in fact, all of the above have been the result of why the past couple months are beginning to take a toll on my body.

stress.


everything is finally catching up to me.  the bitching, whining, complaining, constant bickering about the most useless, petty, unimportant things.

people have issues.  I understand that.  its part of being human.

but people also have limits.  and breaking points.  I've reached mine.


I've spent the majority of the last few days in bed.  passed out.  I've neglected a majority of my "night job" since my brain has refused to process anything past 7 pm.  and 12.5 hours later, without budging, moving from my original spot or waking up.. the following day begins.


I'm tired of a lot of things.  negativity mostly.  hate, shit talking, back stabbing, lack of appreciation... anything and everything that comes with being surrounded by people who have been broken.

we've all been broken, at one point in our lives.  and we all could use someone to talk to about it. thats what friends are for.  so when it comes time for those people vent, thats when it all comes out.  and when they really pour their hearts out, all the emotions follow it too.


thats when it gets difficult.


emotions are a dangerous thing.  it can consume you and change you into someone completely different.  think of the last time you had a crush on someone, and the things you did (or almost did) just to get that person's attention.  crazy right?

emotions.  it can change a person, and even the people around that person.  riots arent started because each individual person wanted to start a riot.  emotions are like a disease.  it takes over one person, and it spreads.  some people have a strong enough will to control it, others allow it to take over every aspect of them.


I just happen to be one of those people who have been infected by other people's emotions.  they call me the office shrink.


I give people the opportunity to walk into my door, and go on about how shitty their day is.  or how someone is pissing them off.  or how they hate someone else's work ethic.  I'm the person they complain to.


now, I dont see myself as a shrink, because I don't usually offer advice.  I don't choose sides, and I don't offer my opinion.  All I offer is an ear for them to speak into.  When they're done, hopefully they feel a little bit better so that they're able to continue their day with one less thing on their minds.


but like disease, emotions spread.


and over the past few weeks, I've been feeling ill with emotion.


any ideas on where I can find a vaccination?