the first dream I had was back on friday night/saturday morning.. the first official night after having moved into the new house. we all had gone out to Stingaree to celebrate someone's birthday, so naturally we had come home smelling like sweat and cigarettes, feeling a little tipsy.
I crashed out that night with every intention of waking up early the following morning to drive up to LA to check out a few film schools. That didn't happen. But what took place of my waking up and driving was this dream... about my roommate.
A little backstory... last summer was one I will always remember. I was newly single, and at 28 years of age, I was taking advantage of my very first summer as a bachelor since I was 19.
We had plans one friday night to head out to a bar in MB to check out an 80s cover band. But the group I rolled out with wasn't your average group... they knew how to have fun. And fun they had, all done up in their neon spandex, Ray-bans, and plenty of "candy" (flour) to go around.Though the memory was clouded by more shots of Jager than I can remember, the music still brings back the memories over and over again.
It was here where I met my roommate, Gabi.
We didn't exactly "hit it off" that night, but we did have our fun, and I was gonna make certain not to go home that night without getting her number.
The next few weeks were filled with overages on text messages and unlimited nights and weekend minutes. I couldn't get enough of her and my curiosity about her began to take over.
I was falling for her.
And then, fear started to take over. With every relationship I've been in, I've always had to overcome this giant hurdle called trust, and with her I couldn't allow myself to feel vunerable around her. I had problems trusting her. And anyone who's ever been in a relationship knows that without trust, there is no relationship.
We stopped talking just a few months later.
Fast forward to present day..... I've made the decision that I'll be moving out of my place in North Park and that I'd start looking around for a new place. Coincidentally, Gabi's roommate is moving out, so she's now looking for someone to take the empty room.
I figured at this point, me and her have had enough time and space apart that anything in the past is in the past. I mean, it's near the beach, its near night life, its near everything... the place is perfect. So I move in.
That very night was when I had a dream about her.
I felt like we were in a relationship. I remember finding comfort in those lips, like that's where I was supposed to be, and that everything else didn't matter. I loved feeling the warmth coming from her, like I felt wanted by her, because I felt the same about her. I held her close and just as the kiss got real intense.... I woke up.
I have a couple theories on this. Carnal attraction can take over any guy eyeing the right girl with the right amount of alcohol. Two years without having sex can have the same effect. And being the hopeless romantic that I am, the combination of all of the above could lead to the string of "falling in love" type dreams that I've been having lately.
I mean, just look at the list of movies that I've watched in the past week days, and I might find my answer:
The Notebook
The Last Station
The Time Traveler's Wife
Feast of Love
Valentine's Day (well, I haven't seen it yet, but I want to!)
yes, I am a sucker for a good love story, and I love hearing stories about how couples meet and fall in love or how some married couples still continue to look at each other in the same way they did 20 years ago when they first met... but its other people's stories I like hearing. not my own.
I love being single. I can't imagine going back to living in a co-dependent world where someone else depends on you for comfort, to raise their spirits, to support them regardless of how much you disagree with the decisions they make, to love them unconditionally, even if they've done you wrong. I can't imagine being that guy anymore.
why am I having these dreams?
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